J.J. Watt of the Houston Texans can't capture himself a girlfriend, he claims in a recent interview. His schedule is "busy", his life is "crazy." Heard that one before. But, I'm a lot more willing to believe this coming from an NFL star than I am from the ambiguously employed dude I met at Starbucks. JJ: Going to be on TV this Sunday using his muscles to entertain a stadium, Rando Dude: Going to be watching Netflix and tweeting about his hangover. Let's be real. 

Five seconds is way longer than you might think. It's honestly terrifying to jump into your own power like that.