Take A Step Back When You Want To React

I have a bunch of text messages sitting in my draft right now. Typically, when I find myself feeling a little ignored, my instinct is to either go really direct like "If there was any confusion, I like you and I want to spend time with you," a little snarky like "according to SnapChat/Instagram/Twitter/Whatever, it looks like you found other plans," or a jaded lady combo of the two like "I thought we were interested in each other. Did I get the wrong idea?" Maybe something where you're trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but want to be clear that this is bologna like "Can you do me a favor? Can you try a little harder?"

Although it feels good to be heard and maybe get a dagger or two in there, it's not really been working out for me in the long run. Let's just say the "I better clarify that I like him, just in case he wasn't sure and I did something wrong, but I'm going to do it kinda backhandedly because I'm annoyed right now" has never ever worked. Usually, it doesn't even get a response which will most likely result in that crazy girl text spiral we all know so well.

The truth is that my ego is hurt. And I'm learning, ever so slowly, not to let my ego be the part that's leading my decisions.

This whole dating thing is like the ocean. There's an ebb and flow. The waves come in and they sleep back out. They can overwhelm you or you can swim with them, letting them gently pick you up and drop you back down. You can't yell at the water for following the moon. One thing you can know for sure is that the waves will return. You can't fight it. If you run at a wave, eventually, it will crash down on you.

So.

When the feeling of @*(&%#! washes over me, I'm reminding myself to take a step back. Rebalance. Look at the bigger picture and trust in the longer story. I can't control the ocean, but I can learn to ride with the waves.

::Looks annoyingly at phone. Throws it into the biggest body of water she can find.::