It's Okay To Be A Bitch
Sometimes, it's okay to be a bitch. The term can be too easily thrown around at times when you are being decisive, straight-forward and firm. Those are positive qualities. It's good to know what you want.
I'm not advocating that we all go around acting like jerks to each other. I mean, don't go up to a stranger and tell them their face sucks. I'm saying don't go along with something just because you think it might hurt someone's feelings. They want something and you don't. You're allowed to not want that. Decide what you want, act on it and move on with your life. Don't make a dramatic scene or embarrass anyone. Be direct and clear. People will respect you for it.
We can say no. And realizing that is so empowering. It's okay if you don't like something and it's okay to say it. It seems like such an obvious thing, but there is some bizarre cultural expectation that women should be giggling, vacant pushovers. Why should we be forced to endure unwanted situations and social interactions? You can tell that guy at the bar that you don't want to talk to him anymore. It is oooooookay.
It's okay to reject a man for a date, for a phone number, for a dance. They can man up and get over it. Calling you a bitch is an easy out.
The simple fact is that you need to fight for yourself, because no one else will. Don't be afraid to do what you want. And wear what you like. Because...why not! You're the one that has the best answers for you. Act on them.
For me, being a bitch is almost having the willingness to be honest with myself. If a situation is terrible, speak up. If you think something looks bad, you're probably right. There's nothing wrong with having opinions. You've just got to learn to believe in them yourself.
I hate the idea of hurting someone's feelings. It really kills me, because I know how much it sucks to have your feelings hurt. I've been so overwhelmed by the thought of being perceived as a bitch that I will veer strongly into the low maintenance direction. Nothing bothers me. It all just "is." But honesty doesn't have to be mean.
And, let's be honest, there's something about that bitchiness that guys are drawn to. They like a chick with purpose. I think it's because out of all the things you don't like, they're super stoked that you like them. The fact that you don't like something shows that you give value to what you do like. It's like being the one person who can snuggle up to a man-eating tiger. It's a little dangerous, but it's so exciting.
Go on, be a man-eater.
#TBT to when this post originally was published on January 14, 2015.
